121 Ways to Annoy Haras or Otherwise Bother Jareth
by Nae'ka
Summary: Just as the title says. I think it was funny. I hope you enjoy it! btw! I had to take the 2nd s off of harass to make room for the 1. Thnx for your patience. [lol]
1. Chapter 1

I have seen a few people do this and I thought it would be great fun to do this to Jareth!

w00t!

By the way: I HAVE NOTHING WRONG WITH GAY PEOPLE!

Actually... I have a slash fic up... BUT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SLASH! Only one.

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**52 Ways to Annoy, Harass, or Otherwise Bother Jareth:**

1. Keep on reminding him how Sarah is much mightier than he, and she is a fifteen year old girl.

2. Cry, and scream for help when he comes any where near you.

3. Walk up to him, then cry and scream for help.

4. Tell all the goblins that Jareth likes to play with balls.

5. When he denies it, tell them that he keeps them in his pocket.

6. Run around him really fast singing 'This is the song that never ends.'

7. When he tries to kill you call for Sarah.

8. Tell him that his castle is on fire.

9. Tell him that you transported the Bog of Eternal Stench to his room like he asked.

10. Stare at him and continue to stare even as he is throwing you out the window.

11. Tell all the goblins that Hoggle is the new king.

12. Call Jareth a Queen when ever referring to him.

13. Laugh at everything he says.

14. Get a picture of Sarah making out with her new boy friend, (blur out the boys face!) and post it all over the Labyrinth.

15. Laugh when he cries.

16. But don't laugh at his jokes. EVEN when he tells you to.

17. Tell him that Sarah is now a Lesbian, AND ITS ALL HIS FAULT!

18. Ask him if he has ever tried Goblin meat.

19. If he says yes, run away screaming 'cannibal'.

20. If he says no, tell him that you ate his momma.

21. Tell him that being in his Labyrinth helps offset your desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.

22. Glue a quarter to the ground and record him making a fool out of himself by staying and trying to scrape it off the ground for an hour.

23. Invite him to the premier of 'Jareth and the Stubborn Quarter'.

24. Answer all his questions with another question, even when he is not talking to you.

25. Ask him if he is a guy or a 'chick'.

26. Paint the castle BRIGHT YELLOW with pink polka dots.

27. When he tries to kill you, tell him it was to remind him of Sarah.

28. Tell him Sarah sucks.

29. Invite Sarah over to his house and tell her that he will kill you if she doesn't come.

30. Watch Sarah bitch him out.

31. Call Jareth a 'Commie-plotter' constantly.

32. During one of his parties, dance fast to slow music and slow to fast music.

33. During the scene with Jareth dancing with Sarah change the music to 'old McDonald had a farm'.

34. When he throws you into the bog, claim that you were just trying to 'lighten the mood'.

35. Poke him continuously.

36. Throw goblins at him.

37. Claim that you are 'princess of the labyrinth', even if you are a guy.

38. Develop an unnatural fear of chickens.

39. Call him a chicken, and tell him he should be more considerate.

40. Claim that you are allergic to his clothes and that he should take them off.

41. When he says no scream that he is, _once again_, trying to kill you.

42. Order a flock of flying monkeys from a magazine, and tell them to put it on Jareth's tab.

43. Tell him that you thought they were 'spiffy'.

44. Hum Darth vaders theme song every time he walks by.

45. Drum on every available surface, including the top of his head.

46. Every time you see him shout, "So we meet again!" and laugh evilly.

47. Go into his room and fart. Loudly.

48. During a banquet hold a burping contest. Invite him to join in.

49. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

50. Sit in a small room with him, lock the door, and FINISH the 99 bottles of beer on the wall song.

51. Ask him why Sarah hates him so much.

52. Start a 'We Hate Jareth' club. Invite him to join.

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So? Did you like it? I had fun making it!!!!!

xxxx Nae'Ka


	2. 15 more

I decided to add another chapter for the heck of it.

Sorry to anyone that is angry about the making of these.

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15 _extra _ways to Annoy Harass or Otherwise Bother Jareth.

1. Remind him that, because he lives in the underground, he is below humans. (thanks to Inulvr7 for this one! Sorry, but I can't think of 52 more… only 15)

2. Reply to every thing he says with 'that's what you think!'

3. Stand over his shoulder mumbling as he looks at his crystal ball.

4. Tell him that you hate his very guts, and despise the very ground he walks on.

5. Tell him that you are head over heels in love with him, and that you will never leave him alone, until he loves you back.

6. After four, kick him in the shins and screech like a monkey as he writhes in pain.

7. After five, if he decides to love you back, IMMEDIATELY change your mind and tell him that he sucks.

8. Force him to read these lists.

9. Have Sarah come over and tell him she hates him. :)

10. Have Sarah come over and tell him that she LOVES him then have her follow step 7.

11. Then have her follow steps 4 and 6 just for the hell of it.

12. Pick you nose during a conversation with him.

13. Start a long lecture about why his Labyrinth sucks.

14. Force him to make things 'more tidy', as to avoid lawsuits from his victims.

15. Keep telling him that he made the 'wrong decision', and not tell him what.

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So? How was this chapter?


	3. 38 more

I have 'officially decieded' (lol) to continue this. People like me to torture Jareth more than Sarah, so whoopie-doo!

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX SEE CHALLENGE I GIVE YOU AT THE END OF THE FIC!!!!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**38 more ways...**

1. Drug him and cut his hair into a mohican.

2. In the morning, give him a mirror and tell him you think he looks 'cool.' (thanx to sapphire4steel for 1 and 2!)

3. Tell him to kidnap Bush. (U.s. presidant... This is a joke people! sheesh!)

4. Hand him a shocking pen. (I love to do this.)

5. Ask him if he loves Sarah.

6. Put a large wad of gum in his hair.

7. Blame Toby, even though he saw you do it.

8. Call child protection, complaining that you heard screaming from the castle.

9. Watch, laugh, and point your finger at him as the police drag him off.

10. Call an asylum.

11. Watch, laugh, and poin your finger at him as the men in all white drag him off.

12. Call him pretty.

13. Throw him in the bog.

14. Complain about how much he stinks when he enters the room, and politely ask him to leave. (13 and 14 are from the Sarah version)

15. Tell him Hoggle is a hottie and that he should take some lessons.

16. Ask him why he loves Hoggle.

17. Ask him why he is denying it.

18. Tell him that Sarah cheated on Hoggle with Ludo.

19. Ask him if he will talk to Sarah about it.

20. Throw him off a cliff. (This works for everyone)

21. Give him a $300.00 gift certificate to Victoria Secrect.

22. Ask him if he has his 'time of the month' when he gets mad.

23. Record Jareth throwing a temper tantrum and send it to all of Sarah's friends.

24. When you realize she has no friends, tell Jareth he has bad taste in women.

25. Ask him if he is gay.

26. Start singing the 'If you were gay song.' (I recommend you listen to it! Picture Sarah singing to Jareth... lol)

27. Walk behind him and spray everything he touches with Lysol.

28. Cut off all his hair when he is asleep.

29. When he gets mad, blame Sarah.

30. When he talks to her and finds out that alot of these pranks you did to them BOTH, (check the '48 ways to piss off Sarah') Call them the 'Bald Babies.'

31. Ask him if _he _has ever kissed a goblin.

32. If he says no, point your finger and call him a liar.

33. But if he says yes, back away slowly and get to the nearest bomb shelter.

34. Throw Ludo at his face.

35. Askhim to change in to an owl. When he does, knock him out and pluck all his feathers.

36. Tell him that he has been taped all his life, and that there is a soap called 'The Life of the Bipolar Bisexual Goblin King'.

37. Tell him that gullible is written on the ceiling, and laugh at his stupidity when he looks.

38. Get Sarah when she has her 'Monthly buddy', kidnap Toby, and sign a randsom note 'Jareth'.

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**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I HAVE A CHALLENGE FOR ALL (any) OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

I triple dog dare you (lol) to make any of the105 pranks for Jareth, (one or more) And create a fanfiction about it! DO IT! Scardy Sarah baby! jk. But seriously, try it. Or any of the Sarah ones either. I would just enjoy to see them... But I'll bet you are too chicken. So never mind... (chicken!!!!!)

xxxxNae'Kaxxxx


	4. yet 16 more

16 MORE ways to annoy Jareth: (just because!)

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1) Tell him that it is not fair over and over and over again.

2) Get hoggle to spray that pixie stuff on him.

3) Take away all the mirrors in the castle.

4) Sing the song 'your so vain.' (Just a few hundred times. While following him around with a spotlight.)

5) Tell him that his village called. They want their GIRLY King back.

6) Tell him Sarah wants a man not a drag Queen. (thanx to ffx2lover for 1-6, by the way! We should make a ffx2/Labyrinth crossover! Ah the fun that would be!)

7) Start singing 'Call me when your Sober'.

8) Make him play a prank on Sarah.

9) Convince him that all the Gay Guys get the girls.

10) When he asks how that could be possible, tell him it is in a metaphorical sence.

11) Put him, Sarah and Hoggle into a small white room, and release the Fangirls.

12) Ask him why, if Sarah is sooooooooooo worthy, she has no fan guys.

13) Or freinds for that matter.

14) Have a girl scout meeting in his castle.

15)Have all his evil little backstabbing minion Goblins, write more of these.

16) Have them pull them off, too!

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Thankyou sooooooooooooo much to: Raevenne Who excepted my challenge!

CAN YOU??????


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